![]() As a 16-year-old, the first thing that pops into my head when I have a crush on someone shouldn’t be, “are my parents going to be okay with the fact that he is Hispanic?” I mean, let me take a look into my crystal ball and see what’s going to happen in 10 years.īut, I’ll be honest it’s never stopped me from moving forward in relationships. In fact, I firmly believed boys had cooties until I was eight and I still feel that way towards men.Įven as a child, when I told people my family was from India, I often got asked, “are you going to have an arranged marriage?”Įven my teachers would ask me and I hate to say it, but, even up to now it still happens. So what’s left after that?Īll of the values your parents would choose for you, that’s what.Growing up, whenever the topic of boys came up, all eyes were usually on me and not for the reasons you are probably thinking. Let’s face it, in every relationship the passion is going to fade and everyone is going to lose their looks. When your parents choose they’d choose stability, good family background, work ethic, family values all of which could only but add up to a recipe for success. ![]() Seems like a complete recipe for disaster if you ask me. You know, the bad boy that gives you the stomach flips or butterflies. When we choose for ourselves, we choose based on looks. Why would their approach change when choosing a life partner for you? They only ever want to see you happy, comfortable and secure. They’ve always decided what’s best for you. They have been your protector since birth. If you think about it, your parents have never done you wrong. Maybe it’s us Westerners who have it all wrong. So I ask you, is this the right state of mind to be in when choosing what you want for dinner, let alone the person you want to get a mortgage and have children with? We are almost blinded by lust and feeling faint from fancy. We do it whilst under the influence of a drug called love hence, we aren’t even thinking clearly. When we here in the west choose a partner for ourselves we do it through rose-tinted glasses hence, we aren’t even seeing clearly. This is not my culture, it’s not an idea I’ve grown up with so I’m not sure I’ll ever fully have insight into it but I do think I’m beginning to understand it. This understanding seems to grow fondness which in turn grows in to love. As in they’ve been put in this together, even if against their will at first so they are more empathetic and compassionate toward one and other. It’s almost as if they are more of a team. A mutual respect and fondness that we seem to lack here in the west. Maybe not a wild passionate love that we expect here in the western world, more of a slow burning kind of love. I mean, Stevie Wonder could see the love between them. ![]() Furthermore, I hoped they’d prove me right (I love being right) for being so cynical about the business of arranged marriage. So, I expected to see the cracks that they denied verbally. However body language on the other hand, once you learn to read it, can reveal whole other level stuff.įor that reason, I observed my Indian friends in arranged marriages quietly and intently to see if their body language spilled contempt or resentment for each other. ![]() Many people are not even lying to you, they are lying to themselves. Most people just spill bull-shit the minute they open their mouths, sometimes not even intentionally. I’m a big fan of body language and non-verbal communication, I believe this tells you so much more than anyone could ever tell you verbally. I couldn’t help but observe them – especially when they didn’t know I was watching. In India, I met and spent a decent amount of time with people (who became friends) whose marriages had been decided upon by people other than themselves. Part of me even wishes my own parents had of chose Mr Geraldine O’Callaghan for me (I seem to be doing a pretty poxy job of it by myself). Every time I travel and experience first hand a different culture, it helps me to clean out any preconceptions, which can too often be misconceptions.Īs a result, I now see arranged marriage in a whole other light. They say travel broadens your horizons, opens the mind – all true. All of course until my recent trip to India. I believed wholeheartedly that it was abuse, a business transaction, slavery and entrapment. I used to have very strong opinions on arranged marriage all of them negative. The divorce rate for love marriage is a staggering 55 percent. According to statistics verified by UNICEF, Human Rights Council and ABC News, the average global divorce rate for an arranged marriage is only four percent. ![]()
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